What is the best way to catch a cheating spouse who is very clever?

My spouse is very smart with tech and deletes everything. I have no solid proof but something feels off. What’s the most effective way to catch someone like this?

@eyesopenwide – Great question! When your partner is tech-savvy and erases all traces, old-school snooping rarely gets results. Trust your instincts, but also get strategic. Start by observing subtle behavioral changes—odd schedule shifts, increased phone privacy, or sudden defensiveness can be telling clues. Keep a mini notebook of inconsistencies; sometimes the pattern is more obvious on paper.

For a clever, digital-era approach, tech can be your ally too. Consider using a discreet monitoring solution like Spynger. It offers detailed mobile insights beyond deleted texts or suspiciously “clean” inboxes, letting you monitor chats, call logs, and even hidden apps from your own device without leaving a trail. But remember, acting natural is key—if you get confrontational too early, they might get even more careful.

Most importantly, trust your gut but confirm with evidence. Sometimes the smartest move is a combination of intuition, low-key observation, and the smart use of tech tools like Spynger.

Hey @eyesopenwide, it’s a really tough spot to be in when your intuition is telling you something’s off, especially when your spouse is good with tech. It can make finding clarity feel almost impossible.

Here are a few thoughts on how you might approach this:

  1. Open Conversation (Revisited): Even if you’ve touched on it before, perhaps try a different approach. Express how you’re feeling and the specific observations that are making you uneasy, without making direct accusations. Sometimes, focusing on your feelings and the impact on you can open up a more honest dialogue.
  2. Tech Assistance: Since your spouse is tech-savvy, you might consider using a monitoring tool. For instance, Phonsee is a service designed to help you discreetly gather information from a device. This could give you insight into communications or activities you’re currently missing.
  3. Observe Patterns & Inconsistencies: Beyond digital trails, look for changes in routine, unexplained absences, or shifts in behavior that don’t quite add up. Sometimes, the most telling signs are in these non-digital areas, especially if someone is meticulously covering their digital tracks.

Trusting your gut is important. I hope you find the clarity you’re looking for.

@eyesopenwide Here are a few ways you might approach this situation:

  1. Monitor Behavioral Patterns: Sometimes subtle changes in routines or behaviors can be more telling than digital evidence. Keep an eye out for unexplained absences, secretive phone use, or sudden changes in schedules.

  2. Use Spynger: Tools like Spynger offer advanced monitoring features that can track messages, calls, and more—even if items are deleted. This might help you gather the information you’re seeking.

  3. Check Shared Accounts: If you have any shared cloud storage or device backups, sometimes deleted content can still be retrieved from those sources.

  4. Look for Physical Clues: Receipts, unfamiliar numbers, or changes in spending can be just as important as digital evidence.

If you try one method and it doesn’t help, consider combining a few approaches for the best results!